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DEFINE YOUR PRIMARY GOAL IN DIVORCE

When contemplating or facing a divorce it doesn’t matter whether you started the process or not. 

You need to have a goal to avoid being run over by your spouse or the attorney’s (either one - yours or theirs).

Decide what your overall primary goal is for the divorce. 

• Is it to leave as friends, as amiably as possible?
• Is it to protect your children and your rights to see your children?
• Is it to screw them over as hard as you can and get revenge?
• Is it to just get it over with as fast as possible regardless of what you lose?
• Is it to preserve your assets and money?

This seems like a simple question, but divorce is always as complex as the people and circumstances involved.  So be sure you spend some time thinking about it!  

Your goal can be a long complex compount statement, but try to refine and simplify it to its essence and key components.

Also, think about your goals for “after the divorce is over”…  Try to picture yourself in 5  or 10 years from now.  Determine who you want to be, what you want to be doing and where you want to be doing it.  Then examine why you want it and how you might accomplish this. 

Once you know where you want to be in the future after the divorce, re-examine YOUR GOAL FOR THE DIVORCE.

Then, examine your expected worst case and best case scenarios coming out of the divorce and compare how the different outcomes would affect these future goals. 

This should help you diffuse some of the emotion and self doubt you are dealing with and help you determine what is truly most important now and over the long run.

Write your goal down to keep you focused on it.  

Read this written goal when you make decisions, strategize or implement tactics as you go through the divorce process.  If you find the desire to change the goal, go ahead and modify it, but  keep track of the revisions and when they happened and maybe jot a little note about what happened to make you change the goal, because it will help you to determine how your emotions and the events of the divorce are affecting your goals as you go through your divorce.

When I got divorced, I didn’t do this, I went into denial at first, then my motive or goal changed daily or weekly as the events of the divorce unfolded over the next two years.   This ended up costing me a fortune  in legal fees, delayed outcome and even in the overall settlement. 

I am certain if I were more focused on the facts and my goals, I could of done it faster and better.

Trust me!  Your goal or motive will have a tendency to wander with the emotional manipulation and evil antics of a divorce.  So if you write down your key goal and always look back at it when you are making decisions you will stay focused.

 Now that you know your Goal(s) in the divorce, then you can start strategizing and planning your approach to most efficiently accomplish the goal.